She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
