seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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