I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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