she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
