Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
