they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
