In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
