When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
