If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
