If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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