We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
