Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
