DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Why is your signature on my underwear?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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