On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
