I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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