please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
it glows. i had to have it.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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