you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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