I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
