Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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