turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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