She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Randomize
