Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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