Small penises have feelings too.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
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I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
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If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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