I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
