I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
How external is "for external use only"?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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