its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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