Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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