Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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