we have officially lost it.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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