My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
