just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
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