this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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