I'm lost and stupid without you.
its not stalking. its research.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
