just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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