um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
