Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
