Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Your penis caused this!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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