Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
