i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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