1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
