Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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