Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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