Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
