Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
