just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
