You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
