You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
