Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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