He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
