I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
