she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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