I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
