Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man