i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.