these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
