On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
