Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
