1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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