You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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