people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just googled if crying burns calories
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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