Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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