let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
