did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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